Mothers Day Without Your Mother




I love Mother's Day, I love helping the kids pick out and decide what they want to do for all the mommies in their lives, and there is more than just 1. The older kids have 2 stepmoms, it is actually their ex stepmom and their current but it is all the same to them. And they usually include their gramma, my ex husbands mom. We spend hours figuring out who likes what and what the perfect gift combo is going to be. Most years they get something customized to their liking and then something the same. 

Most Mother's Day gift finding does not include things for me, I think I try to avoid it as much as possible. I try to keep my mind busy so I don't think about the mom that is missing. Everything is ok until I stop for a minute. Then I think back to all the Mother's Days with my mom. How many Mother's Days I have had without her....this will be my 14th year.  So believe me when I say you are not alone. 

My mom used to call me at midnight on all holidays, so it was something I did with her. Even after I moved out I would call her at midnight. She always wanted to be the first to celebrate whatever it was. I still wish the phone would ring but I know in my heart it won't. I hope that it is something my kids take from me and will pass on to their own families. 

And now here I am, a mom without my mom. 
My older 3 do have a gramma on their dads side but there is no family on my side. My younger 2 do not have a gramma. I am very lucky that my ex mother in law treats them all the same but even with that, it is hard to not have my mom around for all their growing up. 
I can hear my mom. I can see her in my thoughts. 

So many of us moms are about to celebrate Mother's Day without our moms. 
Just know again, you are not alone. 

Feel free to leave a message to the mom that is gone. Tell her what you miss, what you wish you could have done differently, what you hope she sees you do from far away....




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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello We are Aimless Moments, a lifestyle blog encompassing all the creativity and aspects of parenting.

54 comments

  1. I can't even imagine how hard Mother's Day must be for those people who no longer have their mom.

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    1. I agree with you it must make Mother's Day so difficult to celebrate. It's so important to remember the beautiful memories and good times.

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  2. I am lucky enough to have my Mom, but her Mom (my Nana) passed away a few years ago. I see how hard it is for my Mom and I try extra hard on holidays to be near her.

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  3. I'm so sorry your mom is gone and cannot imagine the pain it brings. (((HUGS)))

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  4. This is sad. Bob's mom isn't gone but she suffers from alzheimers. It's sad in a completely different way.

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  5. I am so sorry your mom is not around during this time of the year (and all times of the year). I am sending you a big hug from Hawaii!

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  6. This is going to be the first mothers day that my mom has to spend without her mom. My Grandmother died this past year. I know she will be so sad. I am sorry for your loss.

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  7. I can't imagine celebrating the day without your mom. It has to be hard. For this year will be a very special Mother's Day, as my mom is battling cancer. She is such a fighter and is on the road to remission, but you never know. Every day I think about how lucky I am to have her and be able to celebrate another Mother's Day with her.

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  8. This is my first mother's day without my own mother since she passed away last year. I still don't know if I can handle it and I'm dreading it as the date gets closer. :(

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  9. I am so sorry about your mom not being around. Big hugs to you this Mothers Day!

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  10. My husband lost both of his parents long before he and I ever met. I'm a stepmother and I find Mother's Day difficult because, frankly, I am not acknowledged for much at all, let alone on Mother's Day. I needed to read this. WOW. I haven't even thought about how my husband might feel. Thank you. I really needed this perspective.

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  11. I'm sorry. I can relate. I lost my dad 3 years ago in my early 30's and I feel the same way about Father's Day. I don't enjoy it for my husband....I only think of how much I miss my dad. Thank you of posting this! I wrote about him a few weeks ago on my blog too! Hugs.

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss. My mom is getting older, and has some health issues now, and just recently I have been thinking more about what happens when she's gone. It's a sad thought, so I try and soak up as much time with her as I can, and celebrate with her in the present. Sending you hugs!

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  13. I am lucky enough to have my mom and nana . till today i had celebrated Mothers Day with my mom, but i realise that nana deserves it too.

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    1. My grandmother is overseas and I miss her every single day. I'm very fortunate to be able to celebrate Mother's Day with my Mom.

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  14. That is so sweet and kind of you to include the "exes" and "steps" in these celebrations. I only wish that my own children would be so thoughtful, but they are not. Since they have become adults, I have never once received as much as a card from either of my children or my Grandchildren, nor has my husband (their step-father) ever received as much as card for Father's Day or his birthday and we have been together for 18 years! I thought that I had raised them better, but I guess I failed them somehow.

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  15. I can't imagine how hard the reminder of Mother's Day must be for you. I cried all the way through this! It was beautiful. My mom is still with me but this will be the first year without my grandma and it is so painful. Keeping those traditions helps the pain not seem as sharp.

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  16. Thanks for sharing your tribute to your Mom. I am sure that whenever it is Mother's Day she is smiling at how you've become a wonderful Mom yourself!

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  17. This must be such a hard time for you. Or maybe a mix of emotions. The wonderful memories combined with the sadness of loss. Hugs.

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  18. I cant imagine how hard this day would be. Even as a 30 year old, I need my mom and I could just cry thinking about life without her. Moms are everything!

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  19. I'm trying to be supportive to a friend of mine who is going through celebrating her first Mother's Day without her mom. I know that there is nothing that I could say to fill that void and I am so sad for her.

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  20. My Mom ha some serous health issues. I value every moment we spend together! I can only feel for you on Mothers Day and pray you think of your wonderful memories

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  21. Such a moving post it is. It made me cry. I can't even begin to imagine my life without my mom. It must be so hard for you. Please accept my condolences.

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  22. I can imagine it would be difficult to not have your mom on Mother's Day. I am trying to not take having my mom for granted. Happy Mother's Day to you!

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  23. This is so hard... I can't imagine celebrating without my Mother. We're so close that thought makes me cry :(

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  24. This is so hard. I can't imagine celebrating without my mother. We're so close, it makes me cry to just think of it!

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  25. I'm so sorry! To be honest we haven't celebrate Mother's or Father's Day since we were kids. Of course, I remember my mom with a card and a call, but otherwise it's a pretty normal Sunday. Probably one reason for that is that all her children have always lived so far away. Evn though I'm nothng but young myself I cannot imagine life without my mom.

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  26. Sorryto read your moms is no there anymore. No matter if it's mother's day day or any other day, moms are the best company throught the whole year and I can't imaigne not having my mom around.

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  27. I could never imagine life without my mom let alone on a special holiday. It's nice that you didn't take your time for granted though. My heart goes out for you. Great post xx felinebykatsaris.com

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  28. I can only imagine what you are going through every year on Mother's day. Every year I am so thankful that I can call my mother and talk to her. She is of a certain age and I know that I won't have her with me for ever and I can't really handle this idea...I am so, so scared....

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  29. I am so sorry. I still have pieces of my mom (she has Alzheimer's) so we still celebrate Mother's Day with her, although this may very well be her last. Thanks for this post - I need to remember to reach out to my friends who have lost their moms.

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  30. I'm fortunate to still have my mom, but my father passed years ago. I feel the same on Father's Day.

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  31. Sorry for your loss. My Mom is here though celebrated Moms day in March in England. We lost my mother in law 3 years ago though and that was a tough time.

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  32. Hugs - I can not imagine. :/ We all need to hug our moms and remember some no longer have theirs around.

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  33. I still have my mother and father. I lost my husband two years ago so Fathers Day is hard. I feel bad for those that do not have their parents with them but they are watching over them and with them in spirit. Sorry for your loss. Hugs!!!

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  34. I am so sorry. My heart goes out to everyone who celebrate holiday's without their loved ones. I have cousins who died at the tender ages of 35 and 42. My family always take extra time to love on their kids, especially on Mother's Day and their mom's birthdays. While we know it is no replacement for their mom's, we just like for them to know that they are not alone.

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  35. Im so sorry you lost your mom! I have lost both my mom and my dad so all holidays are hard even though it has been a while. One of the main things that have helped me is that my dads best friend and his wife (who have been like 2nd parents to me) stepped up and have take over as parents/grandparents!

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  36. I'm also without a mom this mother's day, but for a different reason. Even though it's tough, you can keep the good memory of your mother alive and celebrate that way.

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  37. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I had the right words, but maybe words do not really make a difference. Make sure to be extra kind and gentle to yourself on this special day.

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  38. It is hard not having your mother around on mothers day. I feel for you so much. :( At least you can remember her in your memories and in spirit.

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  39. My heart breaks thinking about all of the people where tomorrow is just a sad reminder for them. Prayers for you! Thank you for bring this to my attention as it had not even occurred to me that this could be a sad day for some.

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  40. Sorry to hear about your loss. I imagine it is a tough time for you this time of year. Amber N

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  41. I can't imagine how hard that is to go through. I am glad that your kids have family that loves them as well as you.

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  42. I have several friends that will be facing Mother's Day without their moms this year. I can't imagine how that will be. My mom and I are close and speak every day. My heart goes out to those facing these circumstances this year.

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  43. So sorry to hear about your loss, but glad that you can share the memory of your wonderful mother with us! I hope you will be ok x

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  44. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I can imagine how this must be a hard time of year for many. I'm sure your children will feel the same about you, that they will look on all those years together as special.

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  45. This day is always hard for those without a mom or those longing to be one themselves. Thinking of you!

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  46. Thank you for sharing, it's so important to cherish everyday!

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  47. Mother's day is difficult for so many for many reasons. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  48. This has been so hard...I am lucky that I have my mom though she stays in a different continent. But thanks to technology, I am always connected with her.

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  49. I'm so sorry for your mum ;( Here where i live we don't really celebrate it, which is such a pity, it's a really lovely holiday

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  50. Ughhhh I'm so sorry :-/ I couldn't imagine how tough Mother's Day would be without mom.

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  51. i am so sorry about your loss, i can totally understand ...coz i lost my Father a few months back and i can't imagine Fathers day this year without him!....Suchi

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  52. I'm very sorry about your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is!

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