I Am No Longer An Only Child



Today I found out that I am not an only child.
To make this potentially long story short, I am going to give a quick summary of my family life, as I knew it anyways. 
My parents were married when I was born, for about 3 years. They then got divorced and my father was around off and on till I was about 8. At that point I did not have contact with him till I was about 14. My mom contacted him for personal reasons regarding me but he did not follow through. He passed in 1994, I was 16. 
I was aware when I was 14 that he had remarried and his new wife had children, 2 if I remember correctly. So I was aware that there might be step sisters out there but I never put too much effort into it. They were his family, not mine. I had never met them or talked to them or heard too much about them. I was an only child. I had no other blood siblings. That much was true. 
A few weeks ago my cousin on my fathers side sent me a message saying he had the contact information for one of the girls, my step sisters. He gave me her info and I hesitated contacting but wanted to see if maybe she had access to any photos of my dad. She did respond fairly quick, was super friendly, and said she had been in contact with another girl claiming to be my fathers daughter. My heart kind of sank at this point. Only because everything I knew seemed off. I knew that having a real sibling would not really change anything, it would not have changed the fact that I was an only child and it would not have affected anything for me growing up. Not at this point anyway. 

I sat with the information for a few hours. I went back and forth with what I was going to say in this message. I wasn't sure what the response would be. I contacted a long time friend, who was around when my mom was still alive, to get an outside take on things. I needed someone to go back and forth with me on different outcomes. Finally I decided just to make contact. For nothing other than maybe a photo of my dad. I told her who I was and who my father was, I did stress that I was not looking for anything other than information on my dad and hopefully a picture. 

"Is it really you? If you are, I've been looking for you since I was 12 years old and found out about you." 
The relief from the response was great and I just thought, if I only would have known about her sooner. I would have attempted to find her. 
As we talked for a few more minutes she mentioned how her mom talked highly of my mom. My relief from the original response turned to confusion. How could my mom have known this and not say anything to me? She was always so honest and open about everything. 
I did not have anyone to ask about any of this. My mom is gone, grandparents on both side are gone, aunts and uncles on my moms side and all on my dads side are gone, friends and family that would know are essentially all gone. 
"I am to be dramatic for a moment and say please stay with me on Facebook. I don't want to lost you again." 
I am a bit, oh I don't even know.....just trying to figure out answers to things I don't think I can find answers on. 
I will update soon as I am sure there is going to be more about this....

Have you connect with someone unknown? 

Share this:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello We are Aimless Moments, a lifestyle blog encompassing all the creativity and aspects of parenting.

87 comments

  1. Having been adopted at a very young age (a couple of months)I grew up as an only child also. There are times when I wonder if I have any blood relatives-but have never pursued it. Maybe someday-----

    ReplyDelete
  2. Like you, I know that there are no other children except me and my siblings. However, there is always a thought that there may be another one I may not know of. My dad and mom were together until dad passed, but it really puzzles me is that there is always a bouquet of flowers on my father's grave during special occasions. Whoever places them there must miss my dad so much too.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Your story touched me. I hope you both find best relatives in each other. I cannot even imagine what it is like to be without parents. waiting for the future updates :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I completely understand your situation. I didn't know about other siblings from my father's side until I was 21. It can be weird and emotional, but hopefully also wonderful. Good luck with connecting! I hope everything works out for you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I can't even imagine how amazing this connection maybe for you. I hope the reconnection goes smooth and you are able to find out more about your dad.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Woah! I can't even imagine how this must feel. I hope you reconnect really well ! <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh wow hun well done for being brave enough to be so honest and so open with us it can't have been easy for you. I was brought up in care since the age of 10 and on my dad's side two of the siblings have never met me before and the oldest sibling has probably forgotten she has a sister. It would be weird for me too if they found out about me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow that's massive news! I don't know how I would have reacted! I wish you all the best with it and will look forward to future updates!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can't even imagine how this must feel. I hope everything works out for you! I wish you all the best! Greetings!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow, that is HUGE. I am not sure how I would have reacted to find out news like that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fascinating story, I admire your honesty and bravery to tell it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very heart touching moment. I hope you guys can be in touch more than Facebook. I would suggest try to meet her. Hope everything go well.

    ReplyDelete
  13. oh-my-gosh! That is an amazing story! So heartwarming and crazy and fun and amazing! Enjoy the rest of this journey of not being an only child!
    Karen | GlamKaren.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. Such a personal and interesting story. Hope you find it easier in the coming months and can make a connection. Very emotional.

    ReplyDelete
  15. what a great surprise while I can not imagine it is very cool Good luck on your future
    come see us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. I felt such joy when I read this! Really! I love my sister and although we don't live close, I feel close to her. I hope you take the chance to gain a sister, someone else who knew your dad at a different time in his life. I'll be following the parts of the journey you wish to share.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow .. Your post is really touching. I've never connected to someone unknown, I didn't have a similar experience as you so I wouldn't really know. But I do have the feeling you should go for it, know her and maybe spend some time together. Take your time if you feel like it. But I think it is a great opportunity and something beautiful, even to share some things about your father together. I am an only child, I can only imagine how this must be confusing and all. Update us soon !

    ReplyDelete
  18. How very exciting. I honestly cannot wait to see how it turns out for you! You have to let us know!

    ReplyDelete
  19. What a discovery to make. I'm sorry that these things weren't sorted out for you by the grown-ups in your life. But now you have a family you never knew existed. Isn't that great!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good luck! I am an only child who's lost both of her parents as well but I know there are no other siblings out there. Hope everything works out for you

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow, what a shock that must have been! I can't even imagine what you must feel like. I hope everything works out as it should for you!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow, this is such a huge thing to find out. What an impact it will have on you. I am sure you have a lot of emotions to sort out.

    ReplyDelete
  23. My father had many children from several marriages, but I had one brother that I had never known about. He didn't own up to him for a very long time. I met him when I was 12. I hope the two of you can establish a relationship and become good friends

    ReplyDelete
  24. Thanks for sharing such an honest and raw story. I've never been through anything like that - not even close - so I won't pretend to have any advice. Just sending you good vibes.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I had a half sister that I was apprehensive about meeting for many years. When I finally did meet her, I was surprised how similar we were. I'm glad I did meet her and hope you have a positive experience.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I have never made a connection like this one. I imagine that you have so much communication and fun times ahead of you getting to know one another.

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am not sure I know how I would handle this. It would be so hard to really face the reality and the conflicting emotions. I am sorry you are dealing with this all by yourself. I am anxious to see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What a great post! I do not know how I would react!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can only imagine how emotional this must be for you, especially since you don't have the people that would tell you the truth about your family anymore. On the other hand, it's also a tad exciting to meet someone who's supposed to be your sister.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Very exciting that you discovered that you have a sister.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh, I can't wait to hear for the updates! Keep communicating with her, you will never know but you can actually find a new family!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Ahhh such a story! I really hope you'll make a connection in the near future!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I can relate to some of the things mentioned here and while it is not easily, sometimes it is good for these things to happen in order to either move forward in a positive way or gain closure.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wow, how amazing is this for you? I find it interesting that she mentioned that her mom talked very highly of your mom. Also, that she tried looking for you at 12.

    It sounds like she wants a relationship but is apprehensive because of the past experience with the fraud.

    I hope this works out well for both of you and you can both share the memories of your father.

    ReplyDelete
  35. What a touching story. I am so excited to see how it turns out. The beginning of a new adventure and chapter in your life <3

    ReplyDelete
  36. I haven't had that situation but I'm so glad the first chat was so positive. It will be wonderful to get to know each other.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I found out about 8 years ago that I have a half brother. My story isn't as successful as yours. I wish you luck with your new family.

    ReplyDelete
  38. What an incredible gift! I hope this goes well for you.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wow. What a discovery. As far as I know I am an only child. We had surprise from my grandmother when I was younger finding out about a child she had adopted. He is now part of the family.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I'm in a similar spot but we haven't reached out to each other. If I were to be honest, I have no plans of doing so. The step you took is huge...

    ReplyDelete
  41. It must be really hard for you to go through all this, but I'm really glad that you found your sibling and hopefully you can learn more about your dad. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  42. You must be feeling overwhelmed right now. I am happy that you found your sibling and that you have someone to connect with since all those who could give you answers are gone. I'm sure both of you have a lot of questions, what's important is you have each other.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I can't believe how hard it must have been to hear that you have another sibling out there. I really hope your able to meet in person with her and that your relationship only continues to build from there. I am sorry to hear about both of your parents though.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling. This kind of news would certainly rock my world. I hope for the best outcome for all involved.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Oh wow! That is so crazy, but exciting! I'm sure it owuld take some time to adjust but you can make a connection for sure. I hope everything works out in the future!

    ReplyDelete
  46. WOW! I really hope for the best for you in whatever path you decide to take with your step sister. Just remember that you were both children of the same man so you each share a piece of him. It is your bond, your common piece, your middle ground. I can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  47. What a touching story. I hope you both find a happy path together. I can't wait for the future updates xx

    ReplyDelete
  48. That must have been quite the shock but it is really cool that you were able to find each other! It's amazing how easy it is to do that with technology these days!

    ReplyDelete
  49. woah hectic story. I hope you find the answers you're looking for and hope that the reunion with your long lost sibling is a happy one.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I'm sure you feel like your world has been rocked! I can imagine what this must feel like. Hoping for the best turnout for you!

    ReplyDelete
  51. I can't imagine finding out later in life you have more siblings. I'm sure your filled with so many emotions.

    ReplyDelete
  52. This makes me so sad and happy all at the same time! I am so sorry that you don't have any family with you anymore, and that they didn't tell you. But I am so happy for you that you have found a sister! Even though you have a late start, she is your family and you guys hopefully can get to know each other!

    ReplyDelete
  53. While I can't really relate to your situation, I do understand your difficulty in this. It would be difficult, I imagine, to connect with someone that you didn't know was your sibling after all these years.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Always remember to have open arms with people having the same blood as yours, no matter what. Of course, I understand this is just a moment of confusion but there it won't hurt to be on the positive side about it.

    ReplyDelete
  55. This is incredible but you must be feeling very confused right now. I hope you both get to know each other. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Families can be tough. As an only child I wanted a brother or sister. I say embrace your new step sister. Neither of you had any control over what your parents did... but you have NOW!

    ReplyDelete
  57. What a difficult, complicated, exciting situation. I hope that you are able to find the answers you are looking for!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Omg now this is incredible! I couldn't imagine just now finding out I had other siblings. Hope y'all connect well :)

    ReplyDelete
  59. That's definitely a lot to take in. Really, regardless of circumstances, when you think one thing your whole life and find out something different, it's truly jolting. I hope it ends up being a positive experience for you though, and you get some answers and closure.

    ReplyDelete
  60. That's so neat! I hope that you guys get to know each other well. I would be a bit confused as well as happy if I found this out.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I wonder how I would take the news that I'm not an only child. Interesting and heart touching read.

    ReplyDelete
  62. What an awesome discovery. This is such an inspiring story. Congrats to you!

    ReplyDelete
  63. This is so very touching. I hope that you find some peace in the relationship with your step sister. I have not connected with anyone I don't know; my husband has some family we don't know, but nothing like this.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Not having contact with my father has caused me to wonder if I have more half-siblings out there. I know of 2 from him, but who knows how many others there could be!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Oh my word. What a situation, It sounds like it could be a good thing. Prayers that it turns out to be the blessing you never knew you wanted!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Wow, my hubby grew up with out his father because his father chose to stay with his other family. Now that hes all grown up his other siblings have reached out to him but he says why now after all these years. Its a bit complicated I guess since his dad was never there for him he says he doesn't need him now but he is willing to meet with his sister and two brothers. (Yes hes an Only Child, his mom never had more kids). It a really long story but I totally understand you like I understand my hubby.

    Good Luck with everything!!

    Leslie xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  67. I am so happy you are reconnecting with your sister. Thank God for Facebook and I really hope you get a chance to meet her soon! You deserve to this is your family!

    ReplyDelete
  68. I've never connected with someone I don't know, it would be a bit scary I'd think. I hope that everything works out really well in this meeting.

    ReplyDelete
  69. I have 4 half brothers, 2 from my mum's previous marraiage and 2 from my dads. Al 4 where adopted and I meet my dads sons as a teenager. I also met on of my mums sons when I was 12 but I didn't met the last brother until a few years ago when I was about 27.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Wow, this story is very touching. I haven't had this situation so I can't relate. Thanks for sharing though!
    www.gregdemcydias.com

    ReplyDelete
  71. Thank you for your openness! It's okay, dear. Enjoy the perks of it - the more, the merrier. :) Hard to say that nothing will change but just keep living the way you do. )

    ReplyDelete
  72. I have never made a connection like this before, but I know that it must be a lot to take in! I would feel confused, too.

    ReplyDelete
  73. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Good luck on this new chapter of your life.

    ReplyDelete
  74. This must be such an emotional time! I can only imagine getting that shock that there may be another sibling!

    ReplyDelete
  75. I can not even begin to imagine what you feel now. Families can be very complicated! Hang in there! It's not every day your world gets turned upside down.

    ReplyDelete
  76. I am just wondering how you reacted to such a news, but hoping that your relationship gets stronger to make the family bonding a better one. Thanks for sharing your amazing story.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I can't wait for the update! I am excited and at the same time nervous for you! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  78. I love how open and honest you are! Good luck this will be a good thing! I am not sure how I would handle that but your doing great!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Wow! I'm sure this was shocking, but I'm sure good can come from this. I'm sure I would have a similar reaction if I was in your situation.

    ReplyDelete
  80. I used to search for any little tidbit on my dad. He passed when my mom was expecting. Even if you don't know much about someone that blood connection sticks somehow. I hope a lifetime of positive family bond is built through your connection. You just never know. :)

    ReplyDelete
  81. I'm nervous, and excited for you. i hope it all goes well, and that you find happiness and peace and praying that you are happy with the outcome

    ReplyDelete
  82. I feel sorry that you went through all this! I wish that you get all the happiness and love that you deserve from people in your life!

    ReplyDelete
  83. It is definitely shocking to hear that you might have a sibling out there. It's shocking because half of Their DNA is yours, and somehow, you will have similar characteristics.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I admire you for being so brave to face the fact that you are not the only child in the family. God bless.

    Mhaan <3 | Mommy Rockin' In Style Blog

    ReplyDelete
  85. what an amazing read. in fact very emotional i loved it. thanks so much for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I can only imagine how perplexing your situation might be, especially that everyone who should've briefed you about it were all gone. I sure hope everything will be all well in the end. This is something that I hope parents will prevent their children from experiencing.

    ReplyDelete
  87. What a crazy surprise---in a good way! The closest thing to your story that's ever happened to me is when I was able to track down my old 3rd grade teacher from rural Northern California. I happened to call my old elementary school when she was there visiting, as she had retired many years ago!

    ReplyDelete