I have overall happy children. I am very very very (times infinity) so grateful and thankful that they are happy. I love that they are happy kids. Even when things don't go right or they don't get their way they are still happy. They have their moments, we all do but overall they are happy. I think kids should be happy. They should not be drawn into negativity that the parents have, whether it is negativity the parents have for each other or other things going on in their lives. Not to be all "high horse" about anything because I second guess myself and I have my bad days and all that, just like the rest, but it does not affect the kids here.
This is more about the 2 children that I don't feel are happy, 2 of my bonus children. They are from my husband and his ex and they are here, or supposed to be here, every other weekend. It ends up being more like once a month because they are not supposed to be here if my husband has to work or is not here. That is court ordered because basically she does not like me and the fact that my husband and I have rules and guidelines all the kids that come here, family and friends, usually follow. Honestly, at this point that is fine with me because there is so much nonsense between him and his ex and their kids that I right now feel they should be with their father when they are here. Not to turn this into a huge post but I have been told by her numerous times that I am not their parent and that him and her are the responsible parents (responsible is used loosely when I say it about them) so I have chosen to stay out of it for the time being. Granted it has been 7 (ish) years now that him and I have been together but the nonsense is never ending and who knows when it will actually change. I don't really care anymore (whole 'nother post) or not right now I don't. And its not that I don't care about the kids but about the situations. I just leave it alone, maybe she will grow out of it, maybe she won't. Anyways on to the point of all this.......
So they come over, hang out and play with the kids that are here, we do whatever and then they go home. My husband has to listen to her complain about something everytime they go home. Last week it was because the daughter got spaghetti sauce like all over her white shirt. Well the mom throws a fit if we change the kids clothes while they are here with clothes we have for them so they bring their own and they leave with them, not my fault if someone else puts a white school uniform shirt on a 6yr old and then sends them off for the night. And these children also do not chew with their mouths closed and always make some kind of mess when they eat so who's fault is that?!? Mine, or their parents? They ask me for something and I just tell them to ask their father. I don't treat them nasty or bad and I don't punish them or ignore them at all, I just leave it up to my husband because of the mothers comments and nastiness. The issue I have is not with the kids, it is with their mother. She is and from what I have heard has always been a negative attitude type person. And to be really honest my husband tends to lean towards the negative of things to but I can and do usually ignore him. The issues are not them being negative because they are adults, if they choose to be unhappy and negative and see things badly then so be it but the kids are the same. They like to complain and whine and throw fits constantly. They drive my husband insane most of the time because they make everything that goes on seem like its the wrong thing. I obviously don't get too much involved when they are acting up or even if they aren't trying to be negative they are so I leave it to him and his patience level is much (much) less than mine. The 4 of them (my husband, his ex, and their 2 children) turn everything into sometime negative. They all throw attitude and it then makes the rest of us just throw a wall up. Why should the kids here want to deal with kids like that? It is not fair to me and the others to get the attitude and nastiness for no real reasons? Just because they were raised differently and that goes for my husband and his ex too. I can't change her attitude and I don't really care to but I wish I could do something for them. I wish my husband would cut the crap too but this is not about them right now.
The point is....kids are supposed to be happy! Even when their world is chaotic and crazy and their parents are unhappy, kids are supposed to be happy!