Loss of a parent.

July 30, 2013




Losing a family member is never easy. 
Losing a parent, even though it is the so called natural order of life, is never easy either. 
It doesn't matter when they leave, it doesn't matter how they leave, and it really doesn't matter how involved or active they are or not in your life. 


I lost my father when I was 14/15. I was his only biological child but he had not been active in my life from the time I was 2 and I had not seen him since I was about 8. I was not close with him. My mom did contact him when I was about 13 because I had been through some counseling and issues that I had held in from when I was 9 and my gramma had passed away but he did not follow through with coming to see me. So that was it, I didn't bother after that. Then 1 day my mom called me into her room and told me he had passed a few weeks prior. I was not thought of or contacted when he passed by his wife at the time or any of that family. The only reason my mom found out was through his brothers ex wife. She was close with my mom and they talked often. Anyways  I was upset. I was very upset and I wasn't really sure why. It was kinda hard for me. No, we were not close but he was still my father. The only father I had regardless of anything else. I also found out they had cremated him and the wife was going to send some of the ashes to me through his ex sister in law but I had never received anything from them. Time passed and I still wonder why he wasn't more apart of my life than he was but those are some of the answers I will never know the answer to and I just have to leave it alone. 
My mother passed a little more than 11 years ago. That is probably the hardest loss I have had. My gramma passed when I was 9 and it was and is still hard for me to deal with. I was super close with both but I was the only living child for my mom. She had lost her 1st born when he born and he would have been something 5 years older than me. My mom and I were super close. She would drive me insane but no matter what she was there and she was always available. I remember she would always call everyone at midnight on their birthdays to be the first one to tell them happy birthday. I miss those calls. She loved to talk on the phone!! She had always had health issues but she was still always available and gave me whatever I needed and most of the time whatever I wanted. She went in for surgery on her neck and sometime after that she went into a diabetic shock that I think made everything go downhill from there. I was 4 months pregnant when she went in for the surgery and she ended up passing away on the 3rd day after my 2nd son was born. I remember having to leave him at the hospital on the 3rd day to drive the hour to the hospital she was staying in to sign her into hospice then my husband (at the time) and I drove back to pick up our son and drove right back down there and I told her he was there and we were all ok and about 30 minutes later she was gone. It was by far the hardest day of my life. 

It doesn't matter how old a child is when they lose a parent...a parent is still a parent regardless of anything else. 

My oldest son, Glenn, has a friend of 4/5 years now that lost his mother late Monday evening. 

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3 comments

  1. I agree, losing a parent is tough and never easy...

    ReplyDelete
  2. :( i'm not near my parents and not entirely close to them... but makes me wonder how to make a bridge.

    ReplyDelete

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