I could not imagine not knowing my mothers name. #Life



I had gotten a message the other night on Facebook, right before I was about to log off and it was someone looking for my husband. This was what I got: "if you want to know the reason (she was contacting) its because I think he may be the son I gave up in 1986. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you." I wasn't sure if I should respond or what I should say. He does not have a Facebook or anything so it's not like I could just direct her to him and he was already asleep so I didn't want to wake him.
Long story short I did talk to her and one of her other daughters for about 45 minutes. I guess he was who she was looking for. Not too long after our conversation ended did he wake up for a few minutes and I asked him if he knew the woman's name. He said he did not. I told him briefly about the messages and the back and forth and he claimed he did not know who she was, who either of them were. I told him the lady had mentioned that she had tried to contact his 2 sisters, the ones he is fully related to and the ones he does and has kept in contact with since, from what I understand, they were put up for adoption back in 86. I asked her if she could verify his name or birthday or anything. She was able to verify both and his middle and last name had been changed from his birth name.
The whole thing just got me thinking.....what would it be like to not know my mothers name? To have someone say it and me have no idea who it was. I was an only child and very close with my mother. She passed 12 1/2 years ago (already!!!) and I just could not imagine growing up without her, without any real family. Granted my family was not huge but they were present. He grew up in a foster home and with an adopted family, which from what I understand had taken him back to the foster home but kept his 2 sisters. He was not with them too long after they had gone with them.
I thought, as I was talking with the two of them (his bio mom and half sister), that he would want to meet them or at least talk to them. But would he? This is the same woman that gave him up for adoption for whatever reason. The same woman that had lived in the same town as him for 30+ years and never was able or thought to find him. These are half sisters with their families that hung out occasionally at the same park as us. There is a very good chance we could have been right where they were, more than once, and had no clue as to who they were. Strangers......but now possible family. I don't know that I would want to see them if I was in that position. I have no clue as to how I would feel. Granted, I am a very forgiving person but that can only go so far.








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5 comments

  1. Wow I could not even think what that is like. I am also very close to my mom.

    Michelle F.

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  2. That´s so difficult situation. I´ve know idea what I would do if I was in this kind of situation. In one hand I would like to know my mom, but the other hand - she did give me away and so why should I care.

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  3. Wow, this is a tough one. I couldn't imagine not having my mom in my life. I'd personally remind him, that everyone makes mistakes and decisions that they have to live with and our hearts only grow when we let other people in. If she is making an attempt to make contact with no malice then if he is in a good place emotionally he may be able to forgive and love her.

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  4. I've heard about situations like that on tv and in books, but don't know how I would react if that happened to me. It's an emotional thing, but we only live one life, so I'm leaning towards the forgiveness side

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  5. wow what a night you had! Life is short though, we should never say no to people who reach out emotionally, but of course thats easier said than done!

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