Phoebe Jonchuck, my thoughts on this.....


I think the above picture speaks volumes for the situation that occurred in Pinellas County late last night and early this morning. According to the police dept and the media, a father, John Nicholas Jonchuck Jr, threw his 5 year old daughter, Phoebe, off the Skyway Bridge in St Petersburg. I am not going to go into the incident as much as I am going into my thoughts on this. I do not know the family and I do not know of anyone that is affiliated with them. 
When I think of how cold it was, how cold that water must have been....it seems so harsh that a parent or anyone for that matter could willingly throw someone 60+ feet. I listened to the police chief speak of the incident and they made the father seem cold and like it was "nothing to him." From what I have read and heard, I think the mother in this case knew her child was cared for. From what I have heard and read, the father was a good father and he loved Phoebe. I just keeping thinking...if you corner a dog, they will bite. You have to wonder what could make someone do such a thing. I could not even begin to imagine what this man was thinking or what his daughter was thinking.  
I do know I was up late last night, as usual, and early this morning, another usual, and have been following this story since. 
I posted on Facebook the following: "I was up late last night (as usual) but saw this starting late last night/early this morning. I thought the whole thing was crazy when it started. The whole story is sad. This is why parents need to stop nonsense. Whether this part of the story is accurate or any of it really. Parents that are at odds over their relationships or lack of, they fight over who they are with, who has what clothes where, why they aren't in the relationship anymore, who has a better life, and nonsense. People like to play games and they put people into corners. Obviously I don't agree with the actions of the father but am just saying there is more to this than anyone can see."

I doubt anyone will know the real reason this happened but I do think people that have children need to step back and take a look at the damage they cause to each other. I know first hand that having children with an ex can be difficult. Having children can causes issues and having children with someone you are not with causes issues you can not even imagine. And adding in another person causes even more nonsense issues. Petty issues arise about who purchases what, what children do when in the custody of the other parent, who is around them, what relationships they are in, how they look, what happened to their own relationship, where the things that are purchased for the kids are, simple and petty nonsense. In this case the story goes on to say how the mother and father were separated and she had moved on. Us, as parents, as separated parents, and as co parents, need to not worry about making the other parent jealous, not worry about having a better situation or a better life then the other, not worry about flaunting happiness and life going good to the other parent just to show off. Parenting is not a competition. Parenting is about making sure you children are cared for. 
I honestly can not say that this death would not have happened if there were no personal issues between John Jonchuck and Michelle Kerr but I hope that someone will see this and think about pressuring an ex they have children with. I also can not say anything as to the mental stability regarding the father but I can say that dealing with a co parent that makes everything difficult can cause you to go a bit crazy. 

This was not written to agree with the actions of the father, this was not written to agree with the actions of the mother, this was written by a parent and a co parent, from someone who used to fight with my ex husband about nonsense. Not to the extent of some but still....petty is petty. From someone who sees and hears about other parents that fight over nonsense. Take a minute to realize the damage you could be causing.... 

Anyone else following this story? 

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Hello We are Aimless Moments, a lifestyle blog encompassing all the creativity and aspects of parenting.

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