For The Failing Mom

July 20, 2015




I have been a mom for almost 15 years....WOW! That time has flown by. 

Parenting is not easy. From pregnancy, into labor, and well after the kids are gone, which is not too far off for my older kids. Parenting is a 24/7, everyday job. Parenting can be awesome! And parenting can be something that can suck the life out of you just.like.that. 

My oldest son was the perfect baby. No late nights. Not much crying. He was just happy and content with everything and nothing at the same time. Then came my second son and I assumed it would be about the same. 
I was wrong! 
He was up all the time it seemed, day and night. There was no "nap when the baby naps," because he NEVER napped! When he would finally pass out after hours and hours of crying I had the house to catch up on or the oldest to spend some time with. He would not breastfeed, he would not take formula, I was literally at my wits end. I didn't know what to do with him. His doctor said it was colic and would "take some time but go away." It didn't. Whatever it was lasted months! 
Long, tiring, doubt myself as a parent months! 
I could not understand how I could love this child so much but he just wouldn't give me a break. As far as feeding, we tried everything, his doctor told us to try different ways of holding for breastfeeding, try different brands and sensitivities of formula, we tried. Eventually after thinking he just needed to eat he drank milk. Whole milk, yes, it goes against everything I was told. But he was hungry, I was out of options, and his doctor said as long as he was not getting sick and is drinking/eating then he could have it. That was not the end of the late nights, was not the end of the crying, was just a resolution to feeding. The phases I was told he was going through lasted well into his 2nd year. 
I felt as a parent I was failing. 
Now the oldest boys are almost 14 and 15. The same still exists. My oldest is still the same as he was when he was a baby. He can entertain himself, follow rules, and take care of things he needs to take care of. My second son is also the same as he was when he was a baby. He does sleep better thankfully but I am constantly going on about pick this up, your bed can not have that much stuff on it, you can't act like that, etc. 
I feel like as a parent I am failing. Again, I wonder how can love this child this much and he does everything in his power to do the opposite of what he is supposed to do. 

But I am not failing, and if you are reading this and can relate then you aren't either

Parenting is hard

You understand that not all kids are the same. You learn that not all parenting advice is for you, you nod and smile. You learn to sleep less. You learn to have alot of patience. You learn you are not the only mom that feels like she is failing. Parenting is probably one of the most difficult jobs you will have. You are not alone. We all have a little struggle. 



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17 comments

  1. No you weren't failing as a parent when your boys were young--and you are not failing now. Every child is different and sometimes it just seems like nothing you do is right--but it is not you!!

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  2. We're all doing the best we can! It takes A LOT to fail, but just some love to succeed!

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  3. It's so hard not to feel like everything is a test as a parent, and it makes it that much harder when you feel like you are failing at things. Thank you for taking the time to encourage other mommas!

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  4. Unlike you, I did fail my older daughter (she's 19).If you'd like, check out my post I linked @ Motivation Monday tells about it a bit. Link #30 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings!
    Kristine :)

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  5. Yes we must have compassion with our kids and ourselves.

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  6. Parenting is hard - no bones about it! It is a day by day process and as long as you are doing your best - you are doing it perfectly. And doing your best is different every day - every moment. You have been succeeding!

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  7. We are definitely all doing the best we can! It's definitely not easy, but it is so worth it!

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  8. Parenting is hard work and the job is forever. Even when our kids get older, their need for us changes but remains. That said, we do the best we can and trust that the rest is in their court.

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  9. Parenting is definitely not easy. I think it is important to be patient with yourself and not hard on yourself as a parent.

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  10. I can definitely relate. Parenting is HARD stuff.

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  11. I shared this with my wife. It was an encouragement to her. Being a parent is not an easy privilege or task. Totally worth it though in the various different seasons of life.

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  12. I shared this with my wife. It was an encouragement to her. Being a parent is not an easy privilege or task. Totally worth it though in the various different seasons of life.

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  13. I have two kids that are exactly the opposite, so I can relate to this post. No, we are not failing, every child is just different.

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  14. Love this. I don't ever feel like I'm failing, but I do often feel like I could be doing better. So, this is a great reminder! - Jeanine

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  15. Parenting is so, so hard. I don't think it ever gets easier.

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  16. This is a really sweet post. I know a lot of moms who could use these words. My motto is that it's OK to fail, as long as you are progressively failing up!

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  17. Parenting is hard. Thanks for this great post.

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