My Happy Little Boy // raising teens //



Once upon a time, not too long, but seemingly forever ago, a little boy full of smiles and dirt would play outside for hours. Not a care in the world. Always making people laugh by putting on his sisters clothes, which happened to be way to small for him or falling from the monkey bars. Or running into things to make it seem like he was hurt to get a laugh. The little boy that had no shame. 
He was so happy once, just like all the little kids running around the park, eyes full of wonder. 
That same little boy now unhappy with just about every aspect of his life. That little boy will show up every once in a while when we are outside and he falls off his skateboard. That little boy will show up every once in a while when there are water balloons around. That little boy is now a teen that is fully rebellious. That same little boy now unhappy with so much in his life. 
I can't help but wonder if it was the way he was raised. Was it something in the way he was parented? Was it the lack of time he spent with his father after we divorced? Was it something in the kids he hung out with? Did we not take enough family vacations? Maybe something from the area he grew up in? Did he read the wrong books? Was it that time he was bullied in elementary school? The list of questions can be endless...and overwhelming. But what was the real issue? It could not be just me because I have more than 1 child and he is the only one (so far) that seems to like to be unhappy. I can not blame myself or his father for how he acts, for the rebellion, for the unhappiness he displays. The way he acts is just that, the way he is. 
It is so easy for all of us to say, well that wont be me. My son will be happy forever. And I do hope for you that is true. But there are some moms out there reading this thinking it is their son. There are moms out there questioning how they have parented their children. Those are the moms that feel like they have some direct impact on how their teen is feeling. 



The truth is that you are a good mom. I know I listen. I give feedback. I have always been active at their schools. We roadtrip and travel as a family. We sometimes stay up too late. We take a day off of school here and there to just hang out at the beach. We talk about school and friends. We do things like a normal family. I let all my kids make their own decisions so they can learn from them. But even with all the normalcy some kids are just not happy. Everything he gets has some negativity attached to it. He drags the negativity with him when he's out but if he doesn't go along with us he feels like he is missing out. 


He does want to go the whole 4 years of high school. He does not want to have children young, like his father. He wants to be apart of the Coast Guard when he is older. He wants to work hard young and retire so he can live in the middle of nowhere on a huge piece of land. So he is unhappy with day to day things but he does have goals and wants to live well. It just seems so far off because all of this day to day negativity is draining. Not only to him but to me. There are so many misconceptions about what mental health issues look like. It's not just dark and days on end hiding inside. It's not just dyed hair or tattoos and piercings. It's not just a certain type of music they are listening to. It's hours of fun in the sun. It's playing video games with little brothers. It's being outside skating. It's hiking with family in the mountains. You can not at all tell by looking at him or talking to him that he deals with this. You would think he was just a normal, happy little boy....but he's not. 


And I can not from this point on where the story will head next but I can say is that I get it. We have been there, we are there. 


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Hello We are Aimless Moments, a lifestyle blog encompassing all the creativity and aspects of parenting.

29 comments

  1. Wow thanks for being so open about your son's unhappiness. You sound like my mom with my older sister...she was a very rebelious teen and even as an older adult she is detached. Dont blame yourself...he is a teen and maybe he needs a mentor of some sorts. Someone outside of family- because teen will always rebel against the people who love them the most, but oddly enough listen to strangers. Try to be positive even when he isnt and dont give up on him he is young and has a lot of life to see...he doesn't even pay really bills so he has no idea what real stress is...but he might just need a good friend.

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  2. Being a parent is tough. It's hard to see our babies sad, mad, or just plain upset. We just have to keep loving, talking, and encouraging our babies. You're right we're doing good. :)
    All the best!
    www.mrsaokaworkinprogress.com

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  3. Probably just the hormones; hopefully he will grow out of it!

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  4. I can relate to this so much. I too suffered through depression in my teen years.

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  5. My heart welled up reading this. I don't have children, but I can relate to many of the things he feels as a teen.

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  6. Teenage years are tough. Heck life is tough. I've dealt with periods of depression and mood swings and it's not fun. I hope he finds something he's passionate about to see himn through the rest of the teens.

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  7. Some kids are naturally less happy or expressive than others. At least with my kids that is the way it was and the thousands of students who I have worked with over the last 23 years. I also know that adolescent depression is a real issue. You are doing everything right.

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  8. This is my son today! He used to be so (SO) happy and fun. Now, he is a grouch - cranky teenager and so very mean to his sisters. He's driving me bonkers!

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  9. Thank you for being so open, as a parent of young children and seeing the happy goofy, it is good to remember that it isn't always going to be like that and our challenges are constantly changing. Keep your head up and know that you are doing an amazing job. Sending positive vibes your way.

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  10. The teenage years are the toughest. It's so frustrating when we see our kids sad and angry.

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  11. You are doing alright, so don't blame yourself. The teen years are the most difficult years.

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  12. That's really powerful. I think every teenager tends to go through such a stage, I did too. It's all about finding themselves while also trying to fit in and to add to that, they have the pressure of doing good in school as well. I would say, just stay by his side, support him and talk to him. Share experiences from when you were his age, so that he knows that you can relate to him and understand what he's going through.

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  13. I don't even know you but I love you and I want to hug you. My oldest will be a teen next year and I am going through a similar version of your story. I don't know what to do. I blame myself a lot.

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  14. I was just talking about his with my husband tonight, that the hardest thing to do as a mom is watch your child face a demon you can't take away.

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  15. Hugs Momma. It's not an easy job!

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  16. That's got to be tough to go through. I'm always worried of something happening with my girls when they get older. I think a lot of us have gone through something similar, myself included. It's certainly not your fault either. A lot of kids go through something similar during some time in their lives.

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  17. Aw hun sorry to hear it sounds like it has been a tough time for you all. Speaking from a personal perspective as someone who was only a teen four years ago, being a teenager is full of angst and hormones. Schooling can be tough because of bullies and what you see as good advice now can seem like an attack when you are younger.

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  18. Thank you for sharing your story. As a psychologist that specialized in adolescents I can tell you you're not alone. Your story will help many.

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  19. Teen ages can be very difficult! We never know what they want.. Maybe giving him more space would make him feel comfortable.. Maybe not haha There is no a formula to understand them

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  20. my son is 9 and i feel like there are smatterings of this already. My heart breaks for him. I pray for my boy everyday so many times a day. Those smiles are invaluable. I will pray for you and your boy right now. ((hugs))

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  21. Teenagers are a whole new kind of complex theses days. We have to keep talking to them

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  22. Teens an be very difficult to deal with but we just have to keep trying until we find that rthym

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  23. Your story will continue with his story of learning and self-awareness when it comes to his future and career. In fact, we can put career down and we can start teaching him about the positive aspects of life such as integrity, determination and simply being optimistic.

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  24. I wish I couldn't understand this.... but we have a angst ridden, hormonal 13 year old beautiful girl..... I love her to pieces, but there are some days I really miss when I was the coolest thing ever in her world and she loved to spend all her time with me!

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  25. My son is 8 and I feel like one day he was a baby and the next day he was 8. lol Times flies by so fast. No matter what age he is, he will always be my little boy!

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  26. I very much agree that Parenting is not an easy task as you have to go through a lot of emotions & sensitive stuff all around. The teenage phase is the hardest to manage & when they suffer that puts a lot of pressure on you, but patience can bring the smile at times.

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  27. Hang in there, will pray for you.

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  28. Ughhhh parenting is definitely not an easy task. Just hang in there and keep doing the best that you can :) xoxo

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  29. love reading this. but also remember that he is in the state of teens where we dont know what to do and things happens so fast as we all did experience. sure everything will be ok

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