Dear Parents, Please Communicate

by - March 03, 2017



I am honestly not one to bash my exes, none of them really. I have always been able to move on without too much nonsense. This includes with my ex husband, who also happens to be the father of my older 3 children.
The reason I am giving a little back story before jumping right in is because I want to show that there is not bad blood between us and that we can talk like adults. He contacts me when he needs a sitter for his other children, he has 1 older children (prior to our relationship) and 2 younger (after our relationship) and all are on good talking and communicating terms. Anyone that knows me personally knows the kids all hang out, we do holidays and birthdays, Fathers Day, etc together or try to at least involve all of the extended family to some extent.


If you are divorced, or separated, or for whatever reason apart, and I suppose this works for parents in general....please learn to use some form of basic communication with or to your children.

If they are too young and do not have access to their own phones or the internet, just contact the other parent. Regardless of any ill will you may have, you communicating to your child will go far in the long run.
If your child is old enough to communicate on their own please, just take, I don't know, 7-10 seconds to send a text, maybe 2 or 3 minutes to send an email, that says your plans are cancelled for whatever reason.

There are many reasons - sick, forgot, running late (even for days), work, just can not make it- regardless the reason, just communicate.
Let me tell you that what you have left is the other parent trying to make excuses for you and some of them are not as forgiving and nice when they speak about your lack of following through. Even if those reasons are true and legit they are not coming from the correct source so nothing being said really matters.




I am, by no means, parent of the year. We, as a family, have plenty of ups and downs, but I do think that I can say disappointing our children for whatever reason should be avoid as much as possible. I understand things happen, parents work, they get sick, there are accidents, they simply forget and that is fine off and on. When it is consistent and there is no form of communication it leads to your children not feeling like they can trust you, that they can count on you. It breaks the relationship between you down.
So please, just communicate. 


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15 comments

  1. Communication is always good. I need to make a better effort to do more with my kids.

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  2. I think communication is something a lot of people struggle with. I know my husband and I definitely have our moments, both with each other and our children!

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  3. Communication is so important and can mean that the child doesn't feel let down or unloved. Just explaining things to them can go a long way!

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  4. This is a great topic! There are too many adults that act like children when they broke up and the poor children suffer. It is good to hear you have a good relationship with your ex husband. My sister also had a great relationship with her ex husband. When adults do this the children suffer less. I also agree that good communication between the parents and the children is very important.

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  5. Love your article. Sometimes adults need to grow up and realize how important it is to finally become an adult.

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  6. I agree! Communicating is so important especially for the kids. It's nothing they did, and they shouldn't be punished for anything.

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  7. I love this post. Maturity in parenting is everything, especially around a split. Really, thx for sharing.

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  8. When you have grown children, it seems like communication becomes a struggle. They have their own circle of friends, their own activities. I will try to make some form o family meeting so we can still be able to be part of each other's lives.

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  9. Communication is often hard for people even when they're married. I'm sure it is much harder after a divorce & you're right that parents need to bend over backwards to communicate their love & support to their children after divorce. A perfect post for those who've forgotten to do this ...

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  10. I'm not in this situation but I so agree with you. It's not fair to hurt a kid.

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  11. This is a great post and I agree 100% that communication is important. I wish more divorced or separated parents felt the same way.

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  12. Communication and trust go hand in hand. I think, in any relationship, communication is paramount.

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  13. This is a great topic to talk about. Communication is the way to keep any relationship open. Trust I think goes hand in hand with that.

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  14. Se manfique! what a thought provoking post and so so important. I remember when my friend's parents got divorced and no one would tell him anything so he naturally assumed that he was the cause of it and it caused so much pain for him

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  15. In everything in life, communication is really important. What more with families like this. It's important that the kids maintain a good relationship and it's only possible to do that when the parents can actively communicate.

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